Parents Of Suicide
Writings Library

Becky McClanahan
July 10, 2000

Last night after a particularly rough day I had a word from my son, not audible, more in the spirit.

I had settled down and this is what I got. Call me crazy but I believe it WAS Joe and he used phrases Joe would use

"Mom Please don't cry so hard, I know it is hard, and it's OK to cry some, but when you cry so hard like you did It disturbs my sleep with Jesus. I love you Mom and you and Dad are the best parents I could have had because God picked you two out Just for me. My problems were mine and had nothing to do with you, you must not feel so guilty. Someday we'll see each other and until then try to learn to function in peace knowing I'm in heaven with the Lord! He understands our weaknesses and our illnesses. He loves you and wants you to be more at peace. Cry but please don't cry so hard, when you do I can't rest. I do love you and tell everyone else I'm sorry and I love them too. By the way I like the birthday balloon, thank you! Pray to God and don't cry. Bye for now.

Whether it was my "wishful thinking" Or Joe or even God, it brought me peace and maybe it can bring some of you peace. Btw I am stressing I was not trying to reach Joe, it was not as a result of "conjuring him". It's more like Joe waiting till I settled down so he could speak.

Written by:
Becky McClanahan
Mother of Joe
Forever age 20